WTF? SHE WANTS TO MEDITATE WITH ME

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    You want to do what you can to make your woman happy. She thinks thirty minutes of channeling energy is going to be amazing with you, but standard meditation can be difficult for a guy. Closing your eyes and having to focus on something abstract might drive you nuts.

    You don’t want her to think you’re not interested, but you know you’re feeling unsure about meditating together. To keep your relationship from getting stuck on this issue, figure out a way to obtain her desired result without your comfort-level getting shoved out of the way.

    How do you approach this? Ask her what she hopes meditation will add to your relationship. Some possibilities include:

    • Relaxation.
    • Spiritual Connection.
    • Intimacy that doesn’t involve sex.
    • Maintaining mutual respect.
    • Knowing you will try anything with her.

    Once you know what to provide, you can deliver with confidence. There are plenty of ways for men and women to experience closeness and create a more unified partnerships. It doesn’t have to take months of practice to “get it right” and you don’t have to squirm for a half hour full of uncertainty.

    Here are some ways you might actually enjoy spending the type of quality time she really wants:

    Progressive Relaxation

    Find a comfortable place to sprawl or sit together. Take a few deep breaths to help you both relax and allow your bodies to settle in. Go ahead and close your eyes. When you’re both ready, focus on muscle groups in your body. Tense, then relax, beginning with your hands. Move up the arms, to the shoulders, head, face, neck.. then down your torso, through your hips, to legs and feet. The result is a deeper relaxation for the body and is really, very enjoyable.

    Quiet Communication

    For ten to twenty minutes, sit across from each other and just observe. Notice things about each other. Keep away from making judgments. Don’t bother talking. After a while, you may begin to recognize more than the color of her shirt or whether her toenails are painted. She’ll be able to look past the facial scruff and work clothes. Together, you may begin to recognize those people you two really admire. See if you enjoy the time you spend appreciating one another’s inner and outer attributes.

    Closeness

    Fifteen to thirty minutes of resting in your embrace can be completely replenishing. The key is to keep quiet and forget about all of the things you could be chatting about. Do not bring your to-do lists, or tell what happened throughout the day, or who called, or what has been on your mind. Be quiet. Be held. Hold. If you say anything at all, try saying thank you to each other, or pointing out the ways or reasons your partner means something to you. Prolonged hugging is easy, and simply granting the time to do so is enough.



    Thanks to Chris Wright, M.A. of Falls Church, VA for contributing to this article. For the latest tools, skills & understandings in relationship growth & healing, visit his website!

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