A woman may not even realize that she has put your conversation in jeopardy using NEVER or ALWAYS. She has no idea you might stop listening to whatever else she has to say. You don’t always take your mother’s side, and it’s not true that you never want to be around her friends. Is she forgetting when you stand up to your mother on her behalf? Can’t she remember those times you let yourself get dragged to see chick flicks with her gal pals?
There you are, standing accused, and she has no evidence to support her claims. Your only option when she is being ridiculous is to let your mind go someplace else – someplace safe and happy, where there are shiny buttons. Remote controls may be involved. Ah, but, your lack of interest will make her even more upset.
If only she knew that your willingness to listen stopped when she started overgeneralizing. If she had chosen her words more carefully, wouldn’t you still be looking in her general direction while she speaks?
If all you really want is to make your lady happy, and to live in peace, a slight adjustment to your ALWAYS NEVER conversations can help.
Recognize that when your woman uses ALWAYS in an argument, what she is really saying is this particular behavior or this event happens too much and has become a problem. If she tells you that you are ALWAYS coming home late from work, it means that you have arrived late too many times. Consider whether you can do less of that.
NEVER holds the opposite meaning: Whatever you’re NEVER doing, you’re not doing it enough! If you NEVER take her dancing, what she really means is you don’t take her dancing enough. She would like to go dancing with you more often.
Understand that ALWAYS and NEVER are woman words that express urgency, and you can learn to make the translation while she is talking to you – then you will not be so quick to turn your head, and she will appreciate the fact that you listen to her.